i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
