Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
