Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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