Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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