Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
