i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm too high and old for this...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
