Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
