do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
