ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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