See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
