Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dick very happy bro
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
