I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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