She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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