Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
