they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Farmville is her only friend.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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