wat bout pragnant strippers??
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
