there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
