He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
