we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
In America we eat man semen.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
