I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
