i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
