i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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