You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
