with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We are all done wearing pants today
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
