you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
