The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
