Joe is yelling at the trees again.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
