thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
