oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
