And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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