He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
