Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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