Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
no you cant smoke seaweed
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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