somebody snuck up and got me drunk
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
