Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
