"it" just moved
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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