i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
