I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
