This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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