Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
