You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
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