thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
