All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
