I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
