I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
