Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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