The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Found your dick twin last night
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
