Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
