I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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