guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
