How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
