I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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