I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
