last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
